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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141865">room in our hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex'>LiveLaughLovex</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blue Bloods (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Season/Series 10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:15:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141865</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, after they give Cayden back to his mom and several weeks pass without Eddie bringing up what he said to her at the hospital, Jamie starts to think she never will. </p>
<p>He's wrong. </p>
<p>She brings it up after a night spent out with Witten, staring up at him with wide, hopeful eyes, and his first response is, for whatever reason, to freeze in place. </p>
<p>(Post-Season 10. Jamie and Eddie discuss having children of their own.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edit "Eddie" Janko/Jamie Reagan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>room in our hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title comes from an idea I can't get a clear source for, which is basically that having children fills  holes in our heart that we never realized were there. Also, this was written at one o'clock in the morning and is minimally edited, so I apologize for any glaring mistakes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>“Hi,” Jamie returned curiously, flashing an easy smile at his wife as she made her way across the room to sit next to him on the sofa, his arm instinctively wrapping around her shoulders as she snuggled close to his side. “I’m guessing you had a good time with Witten.”</p>
<p>She nodded against his shoulder, heaving a quiet sigh as she glanced toward the game he’d left playing in the background, her forehead wrinkling adorably when she caught sight of the score. “It was fun. I’m worried for her liver, though. She could probably drink someone three times her size under the table.”</p>
<p>“<em>Witten</em>?” Jamie checked incredulously, scoffing in disbelief when Eddie simply hummed a confirmation. “I wouldn’t have expected that from her.”</p>
<p>“Oh, believe me, the girl knows how to <em>party</em>,” Eddie assured him. “There’s a reason we never invite you out with us, <em>Sarge</em>.”</p>
<p>His lips quirked upward at the teasing lilt present in that last word and the way she smirked so playfully as she said it. “Well, <em>Officer</em>, it sounds like you’ve had a hell of a night. Did you drink water? You’re going to regret it in the morning if you don’t. Remember that one time you went out with Erin, back when we were still engaged? I swear you couldn’t walk straight the next…”</p>
<p>“I want to have a baby.”</p>
<p>“…day,” Jamie finished dumbly. “Did you just say you want to have a baby?”</p>
<p>“I did,” Eddie replied hesitantly, biting down nervously on her bottom lip.</p>
<p>“Huh.” Jamie stared at her for a moment. “Did you figure this out tonight, or…”</p>
<p>She shook her head rapidly. “No. I’ve been thinking about it ever since we gave Cayden back, when you said that thing about… about there being a way for us to get a baby we’d get to keep forever. You meant it, right?”</p>
<p>“That I’d have a baby with you in a heartbeat? <em>Of course</em> I meant it, Eddie. I would never say something like that and not mean it. I’m just…” He hesitated, glancing over at her with worried eyes. “I think I’m a little worried you might not mean what you’re saying right now.”</p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t I mean it?” Eddie asked woundedly. It was obvious from the look on her face that she truly didn’t understand why he’d doubt her sincerity when it came to the thing they were discussing.</p>
<p>“Well, because you’re…” He struggled to find the appropriate words. “It hasn’t been that long since we had to give Cayden back,” he settled on finally. “I know you got attached to that baby. You loved him. I just don’t want you to do this to fill some sort of void he left behind. That wouldn’t be fair to you, or to me, or to the kid we’d be bringing into the world.”</p>
<p>“Jamie,” she began slowly, reaching over to take his hand. “You’re right. I did love Cayden. I still do. He’s – I mean, we <em>saved his life</em>. He’ll always have a special place in my heart. But I don’t want to have a baby to fill some void in my life he left behind. Before he came along, I…” She paused. “Before he came along, I was terrified to have a baby because I thought I’d end up the sort of parent that my dad is, or that my mom is. I didn’t want to bring kids into this world who’d dread coming to see me thirty years down the line.”</p>
<p>“And Cayden changed that for you?” Jamie questioned skeptically. “In the few days we had him?”</p>
<p>“Well, yes and no,” Eddie admitted. “He helped, a lot, but… it was your nephew, actually.”</p>
<p>“Joe?” Jamie said, surprised. “What’d he do?”</p>
<p>“It’s not what he did. It’s who he is,” Eddie corrected. “I mean, I’ve met his mother. That woman is…”</p>
<p>She trailed off, shaking her head in lieu of actually insulting Paula, and Jamie couldn’t help but smile. Even after everything Joe’s ex had said and done, his wife couldn’t bring herself to insult the woman responsible for their nephew’s existence.  </p>
<p>“<em>Anyway</em>,” she continued pointedly, “despite who raised him, your nephew is one of the best kids I have ever met. He’s just inherently <em>good</em>. And he wasn’t taught that. He wasn’t taught to be selfless or kind or anything else that he is. That’s just who he is.”</p>
<p>“Okay…” Jamie said slowly, still not entirely sure where exactly she was going with her explanation.</p>
<p>“Nobody taught him to be as good as the rest of you Reagans, but he still is. I guess that made me finally realize that – that there’s hope, you know? That maybe I won’t end up teaching our kids the same awful life lessons my dad taught me. We’re not doomed to become like the people who raise us. We can – we choose our own paths,” she finished, cheeks flushed slightly in embarrassment as she met his gaze.</p>
<p>“You thought you’d be like your dad?” he said gently, pressing a whisper-soft kiss against the top of her head when she simply nodded sheepishly in response. “Eddie, you’ve never been a <em>thing</em> like your dad.”</p>
<p>“I know that,” she grumbled against his neck, causing him to huff out a laugh. “I was scared I <em>would</em> be. You <em>are</em> listening, right?”</p>
<p>“I’m listening,” he defended himself laughingly, lifting a hand to gently card his fingers through her blonde hair. “So, you don’t think you’ll be like your dad anymore?”</p>
<p>“No,” she confirmed. “And if, God forbid, my personality undergoes a violent change in the next twenty years…”</p>
<p>“It won’t,” Jamie cut in firmly.</p>
<p>“…<em>you</em> are nothing like my mother,” Eddie finished. “You’d – you wouldn’t let me break our kid’s heart just to save face.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t,” Jamie confirmed, mostly because he figured she needed to hear it from him instead of just in her own head.</p>
<p>She smiled in thanks, eyes drifting shut as she snuggled closer to him. “So, yeah. I think we should start trying for a baby. Not right now, though,” she tacked on, hiding a yawn with the back of her hand. “I’m very tired now.”</p>
<p>“Okay, babe,” he replied, stifling his laughter against her hair. “How much did you have to drink?”</p>
<p>“I only had the one beer,” she admitted tiredly. “But babysitting Witten is exhausting work. A baby’s going to be easier to take care of than that, right?”</p>
<p>“Than a grown woman? I’m sure,” he replied sardonically, pressing another kiss to the top of his wife’s head. “Sleep now,” he ordered gently.</p>
<p>“Mmkay,” she agreed without protest. “Hey, Jamie?”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait to have a baby with you.”</p>
<p>The smile he aimed at her in response to that was bright enough to blind. “Yeah,” he murmured, gently stroking her hair away from her flushed cheeks. “I can’t wait to have a baby with you, either.”</p>
<p>He pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, arm tightening around her ever-so-slightly, and, with that, they both drifted off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed this, and that you're all staying safe.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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